New Changes

James told me once in his email that change is always good because if you keep doing the same routine you're gonna go crazy. Its very true. I was reading some of my old post and wanted to update on my decision to serve a mission. As of last Christmas, I thought I was so sure about going on mission. I was preparing, saving money, and pretty much doing everything in my power to prepare myself to be the best missionary I can be. I started to feel guilty or something was just out of place and every time I thought about a mission or someone will bring up the topic it make me feel extremely uncomfortable like a mission wasn't meant for me and I felt so distraught and felt like I was letting everyone and myself down. I was mad because if God didn't wanted me to go on a mission why didn't he tell me the first time but after a lot of prayer, scripture studying, and going to the temple for guidance. I felt that I'm already serving my mission that is my life and I'm already preparing for the greatest mission of my lifetime. MOTHERHOOD and MARRIAGE. I still have the desire to serve but if Heavenly Father has a better plan for my well being. Who am I to argue? He knows me better than anyone else. I know the world sees motherhood and marriage as something you can put off. I beg to differ! Nothing can more joy into a person's life than a child's laughter or a tender kiss from the one you love. Sure money is great and having money but back is a great idea and I support it, but money can't bring you happiness. Being surrounded with ones that you love dearly is the greatest joy and security a person can experience. President Howard W. Hunter said "Motherhood is near to divinity . It is the Highest. Holiest service to be assumed by mankind." I've always love children and being around them brings me so much joy. Heavenly Father has given the greatest callings in my preparation. A year ago I was called to serve in the Activity Day's and this year the Primary Presidency assigned me to teach the sunbeams and the sunbeams and my activity day girls have taught me more than I have taught them. I know its clique but its so true! I feel like once I let go of serving a mission and giving it to God he has opened my heart to the idea of marriage and motherhood and I couldn't be more excited for spending lifetime and eternity with my children and with James! Its going to be amazing and I don't care what everyone else. Sure I'll be marriage towards the end of my freshman year of college, but its going to be okay because when a man and a woman are sealed in the temple they can face the greatest adversity together! As Elder Jeffery R. Holland said "Marriage is the most trusting step in any human relationship. It's a real act of faith. The very nature of the endeavor requires that hold on to each other as tightly as you can can and jump." I already trust James with my heart and life so just imagining our life together in marriage is going to be so bliss because with college I don't deal with stress very well at all. Sometimes I have panic attacks and I'm gonna need him to help me get through college emotionally at least but I know he'll be willing to help me in any way with love and care. New changes can scary and exciting but with God on your side they can bring so much joy you couldn't even imagine! 12 More Days!!!  

2 Weeks Left!

First, I want to apologize for not updating my blog this last year. I got a new job and with senior year and getting ready for college, and James coming home soon! Its a lot to take in. So James has been district leader in 2 of his areas!! He's loved being a district leader! I'm seriously so proud of the man that he has become and how he has let our Heavenly Father transform him from being a boy to a man. Its like in Beauty and the Beast when the transform because Belle taught him how to love. (I'm a huge Disney nerd!) Expect James has never been the beast haha! James has always had the gift of loving others but the Lord has shown him a different light and he has embraced it with the proud of God on his side he has changed the lives of the people that he has been in contacted with and now with the Cordoba Temple finished and dedicated the people who has waited and has accepted the gospel of Jesus Christ can finally progress for their eternal salvation! James has done so much good in his mission and people thought I was going to be a distraction but all of this time he has never been distracted! My love and support has kept him going and keep pushing forward! He's ready to come home, but I keep telling to just hold on a little longer!  I'm so excited to have my 6'2 blonde cutie back home in my arms! I've 714 days for him!! I can't believe I'm actually saying this!! He's coming home!! What a wonderful feeling it is to know that in 2 weeks there will be no more goodbyes but only good nights. There will be long hugs and tender kisses of I've missed you and I'm never going to let you go! I don't even remember how smells, what was like to hug him, or kiss me or everything, but everything is going to be okay because in 2 weeks he will be home and the best part is he'll be home 2 DAYS before I graduate high school! Not only will I see him finish his mission which is an amazing mile stone for him but he'll see me finish high school which is an amazing mile stone in my life! The Lord has greatly bless both of us and because we both relied on him to help us get through this long distance that majority of couples couldn't do. WE DID IT!! WE MADE IT THROUGH THE IMPOSSIBLE! We probably wouldn't we both weren't committed to it and without his help I wouldn't be here typing up his exciting post! Not only he's changed but I've changed too! My patience's has grown exponentially and I've built a stronger testimony of the gospel! If my 2 years ago self saw me now she would be in shock and think wow!! I've learned a lot on this wait and if I could give a piece of advice to a new MG who thinks that its the end of the world. If its with the right person ,you're both committed, and you're both relying on God then your love for each other will sustained the storm of waiting because after a storm there's always a rainbow and I know it looks hard now but I promise they do come home and you'll be greatly blessed for obeying and being loyal to each other. THIS IS NOT THE END BUT ONLY THE BEGINNING! This journey has tough but triumphant! I won't trade it for the world! He's almost home!!! Thank you for all the encouragement and strength you've given me when I felt there was no end to this wait. The Lord's timing is always perfect!

From Start to Finish!

My first poster for the airport! This is my favorite one!

Second Poster! I love the gold glitter stars and letters!! 15 more days!

Stuggles of an MG

Hey everyone! I'm so sorry I haven't kept up with this blog in a month. So here I am! I want to share my struggles as an MG. I know that every missionary girlfriend has their struggles so here's a glimpse of my struggles. Earlier in my youth I started steady dating when I was 16 and I just jumped right into it because I've seen how much fun steady dating to be, so I started dating this guy that I thought was amazing. I don't want to name names for confidentiality. So I started dating him and it was great for a awhile until he broke with me on our 7th month anniversary over the phone. Well, fast forward until recently we became friends again and he knew about James and such and I don't know he has been flirting with me until I  told him to stop. Now I just think that maybe this is a sign that Heavenly Father needs me to cut ties with is guy I dated because there's a reason why we broke up . You know its hard because I've never really stood for myself and even for another person too because I've always been a "people pleaser". Which you know what I'm done with it! Ever since James has left I've had to rely on myself and defend myself and not only me but him too and our Amazing relationship! I know Satan is working hard on me because he knows that James and I are amazing together, but doesn't know me well enough has my Father in Heaven does!! I know that if I have faith in my Heavenly Father that everything bis going to be okay!! Always remember that!! In D&C 121:7-8, "My son peace be unto thy soul; thine adversity and thine afflictions shall be but a small moment and then, if thou endure it well, God shall exalt thee on high; thou shalt triumph over all thy foes." With God NOTHING is IMPOSSIBLE!! You know its also hard being an MG especially if you're an international MG because packages take forever and letters too!! I used to be so jealous of the state side MG'S but then Heavenly Father again blessed me with novel emails! I think of my emails as my letter of the week! I know that Heavenly Father is mindful of me and knows the desires of my heart and want I want to succeed in life he's also very aware that James and I are mean to to be!! I truly love being an MG!1 Most days are good but every MG  has those days where they just want to crawl into their little hole and just forget the world!! But hey that's life and you just have to make the best of it!! Its also hard because I'm a Junior in high school .... Yes I'm 18... Yes I got held back twice.... Thats for another day. Anyway its hard because I don't wanna go on double dates to dances because it wouldn't feel right to me and I'm trying not to lock up myself in a closet I just dont feel that its a good thing for me I just feel that Heavenly Father  just needs to wait for James and I'm perfectly okay with that plus, I'm keeping myself busy with preparing myself for a mission!! I know that it'll be hard saying goodbye again but hey this time it won't be two years just a year an a half which I see it better on him than for me to go and serve 2 years which I'll be fine with , but I know that Heavenly Father knows that I want to be with James for all eternity and same goes toward me! So Message is It may be hard but its so worth it!!!! Keep going!! only 480 Days to go!!

10 Month Annverisary

I want to apologize for not writing. I've been really busy with school and I just want to write and say that yesterday was the most amazing day in the world because it was the 10 month mark of mine and James relationship!! I cant believe that was the day that James and I finally became an official couple! Im so glad to have someone like him to call mine! Its also an amazing feeling because you finally feel like the hunt is over and you dont have to keep looking for that special one because youve already found and now you just get to enjoy the amazing person that Heavenly Father created JUST FOR YOU AND ONLY YOU!!!! I dont know about you but ever since I've been with James. My days are better because I know that hes there and I never EVER have to question if he'll leave me because I know in my heart that we've finally found each other and that NOTHING will tear us apart!! I cant believe that in 2 months we'll hit our 1 year mark as being as a couple!!! Im so excited because this is seriously the longest and best relationship ever!!! You know whats a funny story about our relationship? Okay so it was back in March and it was on my birthday and James and I have only been together for a week and we decided to skype since he's at BYU-ID and so when I got hone from school we skype and I'm telling that after nit seeing him since that summer back. It was So AMAZING to see him! Anyways so the thing is since 21st is our anniversary he didnt even asked the question until 7 days after when I brought it up and. I said " you know you never really asked me the question?" And then he said "well do you want to go out with me?" And then I said "Well I'm already with you I guess so. ;-) " Haha just thought I would share. I LOVE Him SOOOO Much!!!! I csnt wait until he gets home!! I wanna spend the rest of my life with him!!! Happy 10 months babe!! I hope the next 10 months are just as amazing as these 10 months happen been!!  I LOVE YOU SOO AMAZING!!!

This was his email from Monday!! I Love him So Much!!

Took the words right out of my mouth!!

Come Unto Him!

You know sometimes we think that Heavenly Father doesnt here our prayers. That's NOT True at all! He hears our prayers, but sometimes we just don't listen to the still small voice that's trying to answer our prayers. Heavenly Father is ready to bless us with these amazing blessings but its up to us to accept it! I have a firm testimony of Prayer!! Countless times have I prayed to my Father in Heaven with an open heart and just talk to him like I would be talking to my best friend! He is an Amazing Listener!! He wants to help us but we have to COME UNTO HIM!! Like in Matthew 11:28-30, "Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light." Also in Moroni 10:32, "Yea, come unto Christ, and be perfected in him, and deny yourselves of all ungodliness; and if ye shall deny yourselves of all ungodliness, and love God with all your might, mind and strength, then is his grace sufficient for you, that by his grace ye may be perfect in Christ; and if by the grace of God ye are perfect in Christ, ye can in nowise deny the power of God." I know personal that even when I'm having my days of sadness when I'm missing my beloved James I know I can turn to my Heavenly Father for Peace, Comfort, and Guidance! Like the other night I was starting to stress about about school and I was just looking through my phone realizing I had a a lot of text messages to delete and I was going threw them and before I realize I accidentally deleted the Text messages that James and I sent to one another. That I believe was when my ship hit the iceberg! I cried so much!! I even yelled at his picture and crying saying that "I'm sorry! I'm So Sorry!" The next thing I knew I felt James with me kissing my forehead and cheek and saying "Shh!!Its okay. I Still Love You!". Then I heard Heavenly Father speak to me saying " Everything is going to be okay Tabitha. I love you. You're so Strong!" Never in my life has those words have ever been so comforting to me! Heavenly Father truly knows our needs and the desires of our hearts! He knows that we all have our struggles and if we COME UNTO HIM, He will make our burdens light and let him take your struggles and burdens and I promise you that you will be comforted and finally feel at Peace! I know this to be true! Because He lives and through him I can be truly happy! He Loves me, He Love you! All of my fellow waiters WE CAN GET THROUGH THIS JOURNEY! ONLY IF HE HAVE OUR FAVIOR AND SAVIOR!!!!! I LOVE YOU ALL!!! COME UNTO HIM!!!

HE LOVES YOU! COME UNTO HIM!

PRAYER IS YOUR BEST WEAPON!

 

Strength and Trials!

You know all of us has our strengths and weakness. Some of us may be better at things than others. Thats okay! We're all different! And That's okay because that's how Heavenly father intended when he made each and everyone of us, but there's one thing in common we all have and that's we're all Heavenly Fathers children and we're created in his image! Like it says in Genesis 1: 26, "And God said, Let us make man in our image, after our likeness: and let them have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over the cattle, and over all the earth, and over every creeping thing that creepeth upon the earth." He LOVES  all of his children and nothing will ever change his mind because he created YOU an he created ME!! No one and I mean NO ONE IS FAVORED IN HIS EYES!!! We we're sent here on an individual  mission and we were giving special gifts and talents in order for us to complete our mission! Some of us in order to complete our heavenly mission, we have to serve an earthly and that's what all the missionaries all around the world are doing to completing their earthly mission to be much closer to finishing their heavenly mission here on earth! If any one that's reading this , Let me testify  that you're no different from ANYONE ELSES!! Dont you EVER compare yourself to ANYONE ELSE!! And Dont EVER think that you're not good enough because YOU ARE!!!!!!! You're so precious in God's Eyes!! And he only Wants you to succeed! You have a mission complete and you can't succeed if you only think you can't continue and you think you're worthless because that's what I used to think because with me I got held back twice in my schooling and kindergarten wasn't bad because I build amazing relationship, but when 6th grade came. I was bullied and it made me give up hope and made me not want to fight back because this was the first time I've ever been bullied in my life and I didn't know what to do so because of that it just went all down hill, but when I moved here to Washington and went to school. It was a turn over for me I started achieving, then sophomore and now my junior year subjects starting getting harder especially Math and Science and earlier this year I've thought about self harming myself , but I've never succeed it because I don't want to become the next victim because I see how it only hurts more and causes more pain and I see how it changes a person. That's not what I wanted! I feel if I didn't meet all the Amazing girls, My Amazing Missionary, Have the knowledge that My Father in Heaven is there , and my WONDERFUL Family that has helped through this journey I would probably have already been down that road along, LONG time ago. To the girls that has helped me THANK YOU!! You know who are!! You definitely have a special place in my Heart!!! Also if you're already down that road you can come back out of the Darkness and Break those chains that Satan has grip on you! He wants you to suffer like he is!!!! He knows you can win!! He just doesn't see what you're capable of!!! That's where you call upon Our Father and pleaded to him he will help you but he can't if you don't ask!! You can come back!! Through the Atonement you can become clean again! You're Never Alone!! I know this isn't my usual post, but I felt that I need to type this post! Believe in Yourself!! I Love Sister Dalton's Talks!!

He's ALWAYS There!!

He LOVES You!!!

 

Its A New Year!

Yay! Its 2014! I can finally say " My missionary comes home next year!!" I'm so excited for this year!! I have a feeling that its going to be an AMAZING Year!! Not only for me but for my missionary!! New Adventures, New Challenges, New trials, and More LOVE!!! I can't wait to see what this year brings to the table!! My New Year Resolution's are the following:
Tabitha's Resolution's for 2014!

• Attend the temple once a week
• Keep up with my scripture reading/ prayers
• Finally Finish my Young Women's Personal Progress ( I'm so CLOSE!)
• Keep up with my journal and this blog about my journal :-D
• Most Definitely keep up my grades!
• Spending more time with my mom
•  Grow even more closer to my Missionary ;) (Thats a given one!) Haha!

I'm very excited! I even got my New Years kiss! No it wasn't from my Missionary but my teddy bear kiss comes in second! But I think He needs a little more experience with the ladies! ;-) he's been hanging with the guys way to long! Oh well, My missionary's kisses are better! Haha! Well Happy New Year Everyone!! May this year Bring you good tiding of great JOY!!! Only 533 More Day!! <3 <3

Happy New Year!

My New Years Kiss! I can't wait Until I have the Real One! ;-)